Of I’m hungry and I miss you.

Back at school mom always messaged me every breakfast, lunch and dinner asking whether I had eaten my meal or not. Perhaps that was the reason why dad gave me a mobile phone – maybe he couldn’t bear to listen to mom worrying about me even though it was forbidden by law to bring any mobile phone to school.

That was a decade ago – when I was still a high-school student but thing has changed now. When I went back for a holiday during my first year, mom was asking me whether the food here was so delicious and dad kept asking me whether I joined any sports here. I didn’t understand why they kept asking those questions. But the morning when dad woke me up just to ask me to be his jogging partner, I started to get a clearer picture. I was getting fat. They were trying to protect me from getting fat. Just like what they did to my sister before they gave up. Oh, they don’t give up. They never give up on us but it’s my sister – she gets hurt and upset whenever we bring up the subjects so, as long as she’s happy they’ll try to ignore all those fats. For the record, we love you kakak regardless how much you weight.

I am just spamming some words because I’m hungry. For the time being I don’t care whether I am fat or not. I am just hungry. There are so many things in the fridge waiting to be cook – chicken, prawn, fish and etc yet I’m still hungry. I don’t know what to cook. I don’t know what I want.  Not because I don’t know how to cook which is quite true but it’s because none of it taste like mama and I miss her damn much…

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I do love a baby

It was 2.00 a.m. and I couldn’t sleep tonite. I was just looking blankly at the telly, dunno wut else to do. Since the start of the holiday, I’m having this chronic insomnia. ( yeah, many thanks to my last final exam, now I dunno how to sleep. ) . Suddenly, my phone’s ringing and it’s from my brother telling me that his wife was in labour. He asked me to tell mom and dad that he’s still at work and he’ll try to come back as soon as possible. ( it’s one week earlier from the EDD, so he’s not prepared. Ergo, please don’t blame him for being at work )

Dad, mom and me rushed to the hospital and waited there together with kak linda’s mom, dad and her twin sister before the sweet little baby was born at 7 a.m. ( of course abang jan had joined us when the baby was safely born ). I’m so pleased to share that now I have a nephew to add to my collection of little loved ones!!

Kak Linda said, the process of labour itself was not that difficult and painful. ( errk? ) but they did performed episiotomy but suturing the episiotomy was the most painful moment ( gosh! ). Kulim GH didn’t allow anybody to be with her until she’s safe giving birth to her 3-kg-baby. ( dunno about other hospital but I thought at least a husband is given permission to be with his wife during labour??) . She’s so brave because as for me, if I was her I really will want my husband to be next to me for the whole process, holding my hands… =). I asked mom, “who will hold kak linda’s hand?” And mom said “ the nurses…”.

darwish, 9 hours old

The baby was named “Ahmad Darwish Muqri bin Ahmad Faisal” by the couple. At first, the spelling for Darwish is different. It’s Darwisy but mom said people will call him dar-wi-si instead of dar-wish. Thus, abg jan changed the spelling. Darwish means “ yg warak” and Muqri stands for “ yang alim” in Arabic language. Hopefully he’ll become someone who is very devoted to his religion. Amin..

During his first week of life, he suffered from what we called it as physiologic jaundice or the layman termed; “demam kuning”. His face and some parts of his body turned into yellow, he sleeps a lot and cries less but the doctors did nothing but wait even though after day 3 the billirubin levels mounted beyond the normal range. ( don’t they know that the billirubin is so high and there’re possibility of kernicterus.. sigh~ I wish I was at the hospital..). The hospital only decides for the baby to undergo phototherapy at day 9. ( can you believe it? ).

can you see the jaundice?

For laymen, I think there’re ok with the doctor delaying the treatment as they don’t know what is jaundice and the consequences. And I always disagree with the way doctors in Malaysia treat a patient. They always don’t tell the patient about the disease. What they do is prescribed some drugs and asked the patient to finish them. ( are u a pharmacist or a doctor? ) What about the need of verbal informed consent that we learn in the medical school?

Seeing this couple was so happy having a baby, I think I want a baby too. =) I always love a baby… =) For three weeks now my family and I have been commuting from our home to kak linda’s home almost daily to get to know our new little family member. Each time we visited, held, and cooed to Darwish, it became harder and harder to leave him. I only have another 2 weeks to spend with him and it is very difficult knowing that I am “that aunt” that you only hear about and might see once a year during holidays. Perhaps someday the arrangements will be different so that we are closer, but until then I’ll just have to make do with spoiling him from afar!

hey, look! he's smiling at me while sleeping.. such a poser~ =)

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