Maybe I know, somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we’ve got to find other ways

To make it alone

Keep a straight face

And I’ve always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I’m

Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

The only exception – Paramore, 2010.


It’s true that a lot of Muslim nations hate Israel but rarely have Israel’s actions compelled several important countries which it maintains good relations with to speak against it. But recently, its foreign and military policies are increasingly unacceptable, appalling, immature and short-sighted.

Less than a decade ago, a twenty three-year-old Rachel Corrie, from Olympia, Washington went to Gaza for peace activism reasons but she was killed on March 16, 2003 by the Israeli military using a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer, a vehicle especially built to demolish houses. (3 decades ago, her father used to drive the same bulldozers in Vietnam for the US army). But the Israeli military said it bears no responsibility for Corrie’s death by claiming that they had not seen her and had not intentionally run her over. The Israeli military even has a nerve to accuse Corrie’s action as ‘illegal, irresponsible and dangerous’. Due this incident and mostly because she was an American, her death attracted the kind of attention to the world especially in the US that the deaths of Palestinians fail to garner.

Another example of Israel attempt to shoot itself in the foot is the assassination of Hamas leader, Mahmoud al Mabhouh in Dubai carried out by the Israeli secret service, MOSSAD. In this incident, Dubai police was reported saying that at least 11 suspects in the January 19 killing of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh used altered British, Irish, French and German passports. As a result, the involved countries were angry that their passports were forged by these secret agents. Australia for example had moved to expel an Israeli diplomat after investigators concluded that Israel was responsible for forging 4 Australian passports that were used in the killing of a Hamas in Dubai and they said this was not the first time Israel had forged Australian travel documents. Moreover, Britain was also reported to have expelled Israeli diplomat after 12 fake British passports were linked to the assassination.

Furthermore, the recent attack on an aid convoy to Gaza by Israeli commandos looks to worsen those relationships even further. The flotilla was accused by Israel to carry sharp objects which I may say the most ridiculous and childish excuse I ever heard. The reality is shown in the pictures below.

where is the sharp object?

toys for the children

medical supply

wheel chairs


And the most disgusting news is that the Israel’s Defense Minister, Ehud Barak is putting the blame of the deaths of Gaza Flotilla on the organizers and the sponsors of the aid flotilla and accused them for being violent. (OK, define ‘violent’ because my definition of violent is completely the opposite of yours.)

p/s: The boycotting few Israel products won’t work. I am a bit skeptical about that. (after all, it’s not really a product of Israel). But letting the world know about the cruel and inhumane Israel, that will help the most and I may say a million thanks to Israel for its immature actions that had made everything easy for the world to see its true color.

The Gaza Flotilla.

1. For further information, read here. The news is everywhere so I don’t feel the need to re-write it here.

2. The ships are in the international water for god sake! Israel army has no rights to stop or give any command to the ships.  Let’s hear what the world is going to say about this. Israelis are breaching human rights and international law and convention and it should warrant the world’s attention.

2. If we still remember, Saddam Hussein was executed because the world believed he had breached the human rights because he was said to have killed hundred of Iraqis during his era.  So, why on earth there is no one being executed this time?? Obviously someone should be blamed for all the deaths.

4. I just have 1 question to ask for any Israeli out there. , “what are you so afraid of the Palestinian that you don’t want them to develop at all and you keep torturing them?”. For any Israeli out there, please help me to understand this 1 particular thing. Palestinians have been giving in a lot especially their lands in order to stop the war but I can see that it’s not what the Israeli wants because the war never ends but getting worse.  Therefore, what else do you want from them?

5. I do believe not all of the Israeli is cruel, arrogant and inhumane as proved by this article. (or does he’s actually a Palestinian who works in Israel? (if you consider Jerusalem as a part of Israel))

6. there are few malaysians on the ships. hopefully everyone is safe. ameen~

p/s = While Flotilla is being threatened by Israeli pirates, CNN is airing a far more important story. “Pandas learn to live in the wild”. heh!

Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn
I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart,
I found the light to life
My way out the dark
Found all that I need
Here inside of me
I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would break

There were so many times I
Wondered how I’d get through the night
Thought took all I could take

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength.

Whitney Houston, 2009.

My new obsession.

This post will be as short as it can be because I have a thesis which is due this Tuesday as my supervisor is not going to be around starting next week. Ergo, I have to settle everything and get the approval signature the latest is by the end of the this week. Ok, enough about thesis.

This post is actually about the new drama series called Vampire Diaries. Frankly speaking I fall asleep watching the first few episodes. (but I think I fall asleep easily lately. Last week I went to watch My Name is Khan as my friend hasn’t watch it and I slept as soon as he got married. haha~ )

For the VD series, I could sense the resemblance between VD and Twilight. (the vampires even read twilight in the drama. haha~ ). As far as I am concern, if we’re talking about books, I think VD was published first as I saw few people reading it back at school and like Gossip Girl, the storyline is a bit different from the book.

Briefly, “The Vampire Diaries” centers on Elena (Nina Dobrev), a 17-year-old high school student who was recently orphaned. Returning to school and trying to get back to having a life, she meets new boy in town Stefan (Paul Wesley) and flirting ensues. Once all the I-love-you-but-I-can’t-be-with-you-because-I’am-a-bad-guy crap is over, the pilot is starting to be entertaining enough but what I like the most about this drama is Stefan. Haha. I swear to God I would do anything to have him look at me the way he look at Elena. I know most of my friends fancy his brother Damon (Ian Somerhalder) more and yeah I would admit physically yes Damon is much more handsome but again, i always suck at defining the word handsome. haha~ The way he speaks and protects Elena is very gentle that it is so breathtaking. Besides, he got all the muscles and if you find Jacob is so sexy with his 6 packs, wait until you see Stefan. Haha~

Besides my obsession with stefan, I love some of the songs played in the drama. I keep on playing it on my laptop and my favourite is the Cut by Plumb from the Chaotic Resolve album. I just can’t stop humming it. (It has nothing to do with the scene that accompanied the song ok. haha~ :P). If you’re interested with all the songs too, you can download it here.

In short this drama is a bit typical when it comes to the plot and you can actually guess the storyline but I can’t resist watching it because I am falling in love with Stefan. haha~ (i’m shocked to discover that he’s single. huh?! don’t tell me you are gay. Am I the only person in this world who find him handsome? haha~)

P/s: don’t bother with the grammar please.

Deeper Conversation

Every single thing about this song is so beautiful~

It is unclear what the formula one holds for a girl who is afraid to even drive a car and cross a road like me. My brothers always teased me by asking me not to go around telling everyone that I am a big fan of Michael Schumacher while driving as they said it was an insult to Schumi. Ceh!

As for me, there is only one reason for liking formula one; the technology.

Alonso was quoted saying,

“This is Formula One. This is about technology, how precise everything works together from driver, engineer, down to mechanics. This is Formula One and not Cirque du Soleil. If people want to see extra show interludes they probably should reconsider if they want to watch Formula One.”

Oh no! I am quoting Alonso! I couldn’t believe I just did that. Haha~

I do watch other sports too like epl, tennis and badminton as dad loves all those sports. In fact it was dad who first introduced formula one to me when Sepang was first built in 1999 but a few years later he regretted of doing so because I have become way too fanatic with this sport. Haha~ ( abah, I think you have grown too fanatic to Arsenal too~ =P)

For me in Formula One, it’s not the face but the skills that take my breath away, (but some of them are really handsome), it’s not the speed but the technology that accelerates the car that glues me to the sofa in front of the tv. (the speed terrifies me. . 350 kmph? God! Yet, they are organizing a drive save campaign. *rolling eyes*.), it’s not the matter of who won the race but who improves the most is the thing I’m looking forward to see in each race. (but of course I am hoping Schumi to win the race) and it’s not the car but the things they did to the car to win the race that gripped me. (I know Schumi’s Mercedes but I can’t deny that deep inside me I wish Ferrari is the team that I’m supporting. sigh)

In Formula one, everything is so high-tech. Sometimes, if they are forecasting the rain to fall in 3 minutes, it really rains at the end of the 3 minutes. Whoaa~ But of course there were times when they were wrong too. After all, they are just human…

Even though most of the times I know nothing about the car especially when it comes to its specific part, I am still so proud to be part of this high-tech sport and listen to them talking about development and technology. It’s so fascinating to actually realize how fast human can think and develop a new technology if they really have a real motivation to do so. In every race, when they discover something is amiss or has gone haywire, they react to it within a second. That is the most interesting part about Formula One that I love- the ability to think & change fast in order to adapt with the situation. I really wish I’m capable of that too in managing my own life~

p/s = I know something is wrong with the language but my brain is not functioning well these past few days. I have no idea what went wrong with my brain. It’s getting way too soggy and sluggish that I’m already kinda starting to get so piss off with my very own brain. Perhaps it’s time to try the head banging maneuver?