I still have an assignment which is due this Friday. I still need to re-read my LI
for tomorrow. I still need to read the skills lab manual for tomorrow. My thesis still doesn’t look like a thesis even though I’m seeing my supervisors this Thursday. And I’m getting crabbier every second because of all those unfinished businesses.
Yet, something I read on the plane keep bothering me. Frankly speaking, I was not very keen to Cecilia’s book but this book- If you could see me now, has somehow stole my attention out of sudden and out of nowhere. I had no interest in this book when I first read it few years ago. Maybe being alone on the plane without any company had cause all the sudden change of interest?
“Ivan, in a complicated life, I try my best to make things as simple as possible. I know what to expect, I know what I’m going to do, where I’m going, who I’m going to meet every single day. In a life that is surrounded by complicated, unpredictable people, I need stability. You. You take the simplicity out of my life. You shake things around and turn them upside down. And sometimes I like it, Ivan, you make me laugh, you make me dance around streets and beaches like a lunatic, and make me feel like someone I’m not. But last night you made me feel like someone I don’t want to be. I need things to be simple, Ivan”
“You know, the more you try to simplify things, Elizabeth, the more you complicate them. You create rules, build walls, push people way, lie to yourself, and ignore true feelings. That is not simplifying things.”
” I have a sister who is missing, a six-year-old nephew to mother, about which I know nothing, a father who has not moved away from a window for weeks because he is waiting for his wife, who disappeared over twenty years ago, to return. I realized last night that I was just like him as I sat on the stairs, staring out the window, waiting for a man with no surname who tells me he’s from a place called Ekam Eveileb, a place that has been Googled and searched on the damn atlas at least once a day and that I now know doesn’t exist. I care for you, Ivan, I really do, but one minute you’re kissing me and the next you’re standing me up. I don’t know what is going on with us. I have enough worries and I have enough pain as it is and I am not volunteering myself for any more.”