Shyness is an emotion that can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid, or insecure when meeting or speaking to other people but I am not nervous. It’s more that I don’t really know what topic to pick for a talk. I love the silence and prefer listening to my thoughts but I know it’s killing the person next to me. Maybe the words quiet and introvert describe me much better. I suck at small talk. I run out of things to say or start becoming noticeably unnatural in my forced small talk.For example, when we went for a holiday last weekend, we chartered a car and I sat next to the driver. It was a long journey so the driver was trying to make a conversation with me a couple of time before he gave up himself because it’s like a history taking scene in a hospital as I just answered ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to most of his questions but that situation doesn’t apply to just a complete stranger because when ‘ym’ing with friends, I do feel the same tense and it does kill me because being the first to say hello isn’t always enough as there is always an awkward silence by being sort of abrupt, and just waiting for the next person to pick up the slack in the conversation.
Sometimes, I tried to pick a topic but usually I failed to make the conversation flows and only god knows how it kills me every time I force and struggle myself to think what to say next so that the conversation won’t end but most of the time, I do give up because I think that all the efforts do make me look so stupid and because of that, some people may mistakenly think that I am standoffish or aloof. sigh~ I do envy those easy going person out there who being friendly and outgoing is natural, energizing, and fun. Is there a way I can come across as more friendly or less intimidating? Not that I think that I’m intimidating.
I did google about this issue and I was surprised to learn that shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. lolz, there’s a gene for shyness?
p/s= yes, I have to stop posting article about myself.